NF (Nathan Feuerstein) is a 34-year-old American rapper and songwriter from Gladwin, Michigan, who releases music every couple of years that explores his experience with mental health, trauma, and faith.
His album “FEAR,” released on Nov. 14, at 11 p.m., introduced a different sound compared to his last album, “HOPE.” With emotional songs like “MAMA” written for his mother, who passed away when NF was 18, from a drug overdose.
As a regular NF listener, the very first track on the album “FEAR” was noticeably different from all of his other songs. Starting with a slow, reflective line: “Hello darkness, my old friend, knocking on my door again.” That single phrase shows the shift from HOPE, which was more upbeat and was about the recovery of his past struggles and how he has grown, to the relapse of his OCD and how it might be something worse, like Schizophrenia.
The first verse of NFs “Washed Up” centers around how he no longer feels the drive to continue making music like he did when he was a kid, going back to “When I grow up” from his 4th album “The search”.
“Yeah, I’m starting to wonder if I lost the hunger. Where’s that kid I used to be when I was on the come-up? Where’s that drive I used to have before the numbers?”
Because NF has gained more attention in recent years, he no longer sees a reason to continue coming out with music. That one single line made fans confused. Is he still going to make music for a couple more years, or will he stop soon?
“Yeah, enough with the love, I need to be hated again” was the opening line on NF’s “GIVE ME A REASON.” About a minute into the song, NF states that he is getting bored and wishes to go back to when nobody was listening to him, and when he didn’t have any awards. He emphasizes the fact that he liked making music more when no one believed he would make it to the big leagues. Those who talked down to him for his music was his inspiration to keep going and thrive in the music industry.
Overall, the “FEAR” album was a symbol of his struggles with anxiety, the ongoing battles with his mind, and the feeling of losing control of his life and mental state. Across his albums, it represents a force that makes him feel like he is a ‘puppet on strings’, shown in his “FEAR” music video. NF expresses his emotions and thoughts through his music and how it’s affecting him, whether it’s in bad or good ways.
![“All-Suburban [choir] was really fun because I got to work with a lot of people from other schools that I didn't know and I got to make friends. We got to learn fun but challenging music and perform for my parents so that was really fun. But the audition process was really stressful, because over 600 people auditioned but only around 150 actually made it into the choir so that was really intimidating for me. I was one out of three girls in my class who made it so that made me feel really special and I was really grateful to have this opportunity.”](https://psouthtreaty.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Image_20260523_140845_694.jpeg)
