A Walk on the Wild Side

A Botanical Garden tale recounted by Patrick Smith


The Missouri Botanical Garden is one of the main attractions of the city of  St louis. I think it is shocking that there’s an attraction besides the needles and pipes. Now don’t get me wrong, I love our city. Every time I’m there I have this horrendous sensation of always being watched. That feeling like you might get jumped by some homeless guy at any second. Keeps you on your toes. But in the Missouri Botanical Garden,  I found that you leave that feeling at the door. When you enter the Garden, the claustrophobic streets of the city turn into a warm comfortable park. That’s how my initial thoughts of the Garden were–a nice, cozy place to walk around. 

This was my first time visiting the  Garden, even though I’ve lived in Missouri my whole life and my mother has lived in the city for nearly three years. I even apparently have a member card that lets me into the Garden for free (obviously not to my knowledge). I do have some good excuses on why I haven’t been,  but I won’t bother because whenever I mention that I’ve never been to the Botanical Garden it’s always met with “HOW!? You must go, it’s so wonderful and beautiful,” or some variation of this. To those people who said that I say screw you! Your words ruined my experience. 

I want to state that it is a nice garden… just not the Garden of Eden. In my head, I was thinking of some whimsical fairytale world. These people really gaslighted me into believing that I was going to have a life-changing experience. But holy crow it felt really dull to me. The only reason why this Garden is still in my mind is because I have a ball and chain on my ankle (Mr. Brady)  until I finish writing this article. 

Besides the trees and stuff there was some construction going on. I don’t really care to find out what they are building because I doubt I will return in the next few years. 

 I’m glad I had the free entry card because anything over $5 is absurd. Tickets for outsiders/a normal joe is $12 and for the city folk it’s $6. That’s $12 to look at a shrub… oh wait no they have a pond too. Maybe it is worth it. This is a sarcastic joke to people who don’t understand. The joke is that I don’t think the pond is worth 14 dollars. It’s a well crafted joke that took me hours to come up with. 

Honestly, the garden wasn’t bad at all. IT IS a nice place, but is nothing too special. Compared to the lovely nightmare city known as St. Louis I can see why people think this is the best place in the world. 6.57/10 Plants